Why use plain words to scold those nearest to you when fancier insults are available? With this guide, you can clap back at irritating strangers, tiresome guests, bad dates and micromanaging bosses with top-notch snipes by a literary genius. When they won’t stop talking: ‘Let us have the luxury of silence.’ When your colleague asks you to ‘circle back’: ‘I detest jargon of every kind.’ And when someone posts filtered selfies: ‘Pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked.’